


I'll hold you if you need

by fromacloset



Series: Little Reader [4]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Caregiver Jared, Caregiver Jensen, Comfort and love, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, I'll add more - Freeform, Little Reader, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pacifiers, Potential caretaker Jensen, Sleepy Cuddles, blankys, cg/lg, cgl, love and support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-03-04 04:44:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 13,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13356765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromacloset/pseuds/fromacloset
Summary: Reader is an actress on supernatural and a little. Though Jensen doesn't really understand, he still wants to help.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I deleted my other Jensen one. I didn't like it,

The scene was a bit rough. Jensen asked if you wanted to get lunch, but you told him that you were going to go back to your trailer and sleep for a bit. When you walked in, you sighed knowing that you were beginning to regress. 

You walked to the bed and grabbed your backpack that had your little things in case. You didn’t have a caregiver and you wanted one. You kind of wanted Jensen, but he would never go for it. You got in your pajama shorts and comfy t-shirt. You grabbed you blanky and debated your pacifier. You decided you wanted it and with that you fell asleep.

A little while later Jensen knocked on your trailer. When you didn’t respond he figured you were still sleeping. It was unlocked and Jensen quietly walked in. He laughed a bit, seeing you sleep and then he took a step closer and saw you, pacifier and all.

“What the…” he said a little loudly. 

You started to stir and you slowly opened your eyes. You focused them and saw the confused look on Jensen’s face. You a split second you were wondering why he looked like that. Then you realized your pacifier was in. Your eyes went wide and you took it out.

“Jensen, I-I-I”

“I’m sorry, y/n/n. I didn’t to-uh-interrupt.”

“I’m a little” you blurted out.

“A what?”

“I regress to a younger mind set to calm down. It’s not a sex thing. Not at all. I- it makes me feel safe. God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to find out. You must think I’m a freak.” 

“No. You’re not a freak. It’s uh-it’s not what I was expecting. Anyway, they need you in hair and makeup.”

“Okay” you said quietly. 

He nodded and left. You buried your head in your hands and started to cry a bit. Of course this would happen and now he’s going to think you’re weird and judge you. This is great. Just perfect. 

The rest of the day was a little awkward. He didn’t know what to say and neither did you. You hoped that tomorrow would be better.

In the morning you went to Jensen.

“Can-can we talk?” you asked.

“Yeah” he said.

“I’m sorry for yesterday. I’m so embarrassed.”

“It was-uh-interesting to see. So, how long have you been-uh-little?”

“Just over a year. I don’t have a caregiver, which my little kind of needs. She just kind of needs cuddles.” Jensen smiled a bit.

“I looked up littles last night.” He blushed a bit.

“Really?” were shocked.

“Yeah. Never heard of them before. I wanted to know what you-uh-you…anyway. It’s very interesting. There’s um…some different types.” He said looked away.

“Yeah. All littles a different. Mine is non-sexual, she’s young around 2sih. And just needs all the cuddles in the world and someone to hold her. I-I like if someone had me in their arms and I had my legs around their waist and rested me head on their shoulder.” You realized you were talking too much. “I’m sorry. You didn’t ask, you don’t care.”

“Hey” he whispered squeezing your hand. “I don’t understand it really, but I do care.” 

“We’re two separate people.”

“Honestly, y/n. If this makes you happy, who am I to judge.” He said and you nodded. 

He pulled you into a hug and you wanted to ask him to help you if you were little, but you knew that would freak him out. It would change your relationship. 

“If you feel like you need to be little and you need to go to your trailer, just tell me” you nodded.

The scene between your character and Dean was emotionally draining. You wiped your tears and Jensen came over rubbing a hand on your back. You had an hour in between,

“You good?” he asked concerned and you shook your head.

“Need to be little. Sorry” you said.

“Don’t be sorry. Do what you gotta do” he said and you left.

Jensen got changed and sat in his trailer. He thought about what you had said about your little. That scene was hard for both of you. Jensen walked to your trailer and took a breath before walking in. You were on your bed, pacifier in, holding your blanky, crying a bit. You gasped when you saw him.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re little right?” he asked sweetly. You nodded. “Look, I’m not sure what I’m doing, but it was a tough scene and all I know is that you need cuddles.” You pouted and nodded again. “Well, I’m pretty good at cuddling…I mean, if you were okay with that. If not, that’s okay.” 

You reached your arms out. Jensen lifted you in his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist, you nuzzled into his neck and he couldn’t help but smile. He rubbed a hand on your back.

He looked down at you. You looked so innocent and small. You slowly closed your eyes, but then opened them again. Jensen cradled your and then stroked your hair.

“You can close your eyes for a bit, if you want” he whispered and you nodded. “Yeah? Okay. Is this okay? me holding you?” you giggled and nuzzled more before closing your eyes.

Jensen kissed your forehead. He had no idea what he was doing or if this was going to be a onetime thing. He was just glad that he could help. Even if he didn’t really understand yet.


	2. Chapter 2

You started to wake up, you noticed you were on your bed, but an arm was around you. You took your pacifier out and sat up, looking at Jensen.

“Hey.” You said shyly.

“Hey. You slept for twenty minutes.” He said sitting up. 

“Good. Um-thank you for doing that.”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure.”

“Um, I guess I should grab something to eat then”

“Right. Yeah. I’ll let you get ready.” You smiled a little at Jensen he smiled back. 

You two sat separately at lunch and you got ready for your next scene. This episode was more with Jensen. Jared was in other scenes without you. That night you were getting ready to go, when there was a knock on your trailer. 

“It’s open” you said and Jensen walked in.

“Just wanted to say goodnight” 

“Goodnight. Thanks again…for earlier.” 

“Don’t mention it” he smiled. You two stood there awkwardly for a moment. 

“So…” you spoke up.

“Y/n/n. Is…never mind” 

“What?” you smiled sweetly.

“How-when do you-is it more during the day? Being little.”

“Oh. Um, it’s mostly at night. Sort of like a way to relax, especially with a show like this.” Jensen nodded “Um. And with the scenes today and yesterday…I just needed to um, let go of those.”

“That makes sense, I guess.” Jensen said.

“If-if you wanted to know more, you can ask. I don’t mind. Jut-if I found a caregiver I would call them by your name. Not daddy, that’s not my thing. I don’t want to do that. No disrespect to those who do, it’s just not my thing.” You saw Jensen relax a bit more. 

“So-so are you going to uh. Tonight.”

“Yes. I’m starting to feel a bit little now and I should get home and make something to eat, before…” you trailed off.

“Do-do you want-I could” Jensen looked away

“Are you asking if I wanted you to come home and help?” you asked quietly, looking down and fiddling with your hands.

“Offering.” He mumbled. 

“Hm?” you said looking at him, not really hearing him.

“I-I was sort of offering” he said looking at you sheepishly. 

“Oh.” You said a little taken a back.

“Is that too much? Did I go too far? Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“No!” you said “No, I uh. That would be nice.” You nodded and he did too. 

When you two walked into your house you showed him around. It was small, but you didn’t need much. You brought Jensen to your room and he walked in and you unpacked your blanky and pacifier. You looked down a bit.

“What would you like me to do?” he asked sweetly.

“There’s um…I was going to make mac and cheese and some dino nuggets.” You blushed. “I have actual stuff though, if you want.” Jensen chuckled a bit.

“No, that sounds good.” Jensen said, putting you at ease. “Would you like me to start that?” you nodded. 

“I’m going to get changed…when I come back, I might…be…” Jensen nodded.

“Okay.”

“Um-just so you know…my voice…it’s going to come out childlike. So, I may not talk a lot tonight.” Jensen looked a little surprised, but nodded.

“Is-is there anything else?” 

“Pet names” you looked down. “Like sweetheart, little one, baby. Stuff like that….she likes.” 

“Yeah, okay.”

Jensen left and you went to get changed. You put on your pajama pants and a sweatshirt. You placed your pacifier in your mouth and sat on your bed, holding your blanky. You walked into the kitchen and the macaroni was being cooked and the nuggets were in the oven. Jensen looked up and saw you. He took a deep breath wondering if he was ready for this.

“Hey sweetheart” he said quietly and your eyes lit up a bit. Jensen smiled. “Do you want to sit at the counter?” you nodded and climbed on bar stool.

Jensen poured the water out of the macaroni. He went to the fridge to grab the milk for the sauce and you realized that you had filled up a sippy cup with your water. You let out a little a squeak. Jensen looked over and you looked worried.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked worried. You shook your head, getting up and going over to the fridge and blocking the door. “Is there something in there you don’t want me to see?” you nodded. “You’re worried that I’ll judge?” you nodded. Jensen sighed and stroked your cheek. “You know that I’m still a bit unsure of everything, but if there’s something in there that you need, I wont judge.” 

You stepped aside and Jensen opened the door seeing the pinky sippy cup. You were looking at him the whole time and blushed when you saw him smile a bit. He pulled the sippy cup out and handed it to you, kissing your forehead. 

You giggled and sat at the table. Jensen came over with the food and sat beside you. You took your pacifier out and went to take a bite of the nugget.

“Oh” Jensen said and you looked at him. “Sweetheart, that’s very hot. Why don’t you have some water” he suggested and you smiled nodding. 

After dinner you put your pacifier back in your mouth and Jensen put the dishes away. He looked at you standing there with your blanky. 

“Did you want me to hold you?” he asked sweetly and you nodded. “Okay!” he lifted you in his arms and you giggled. “You know, you’re pretty cute” he booped your nose and blushed, hiding your face in his neck. “Should we watch some TV?” you nodded.

Jensen sat on the couch, you curled up on him and he wrapped and arm around you. He had to admit that though this was a bit strange for him, you were very sweet and it was fun to take care of someone like this. 

Jensen turned on Netflix and saw that you were watching Anne with an E. The Anne of Green Gables show. He looked at you and you blushed and he pressed play and held you.


	3. Chapter 3

Jensen looked down and saw that you were sucking on your pacifier and your eyes were dropping. He turned the TV off and rubbed a hand up and down your arm.

“Hey” he whispered and you looked up at him. He chuckled a bit. “I think it’s time for bed, sweetheart.”

“Nnnn” you whined wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Yes” he cooed.

Jensen lifted you in his arms and carried you to the bathroom where he helped you brush your teeth and wash your face. He turned around and you went to the bathroom and then he helped you wash your hands when you were done. 

He lifted you back in his arms and you started to cry a bit. You rested your head on his shoulder and clung to him. You had gotten so comfortable with him; you forgot that he would have to go. Jensen heled you tight and rubbed a hand on your back. 

“Look at me, sweetheart” He whispered and you did. He stroked your cheek with his thumb and kissed your forehead. “You got comfortable with me around, didn’t you” you nodded pouting. “You don’t want me to go.” you shook your head. “I’m sorry sweet girl” You reached up with your hand and stroked his cheek. “I liked taking care of you.”

“Hmmmm” you looked at him, eyes lighting up a bit. Jensen took your hand and kissed your palm. 

“I’m going to tuck you in, okay.” you looked down and nodded, you started crying a bit again. Jensen felt bad; he didn’t want to leave you. Not like this and he had grown a like to this. “I could sleep in my t-shirt and boxers.” You looked at him with hopeful eyes. “Yeah?”

“Mmmm” you nodded.

“Okay, I’ll stay over.” You rested your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes. He rubbed a hand up and down your back. You whimpered a bit and he held you closer. “I got you, sweet girl.” 

Jensen pulled back the covers and laid you down. He kissed your forehead and you yawned a bit, snuggling into your blanky.

“I’m going to be right back.” You nodded.

Jensen grabbed his bag where he kept a tooth brush and got ready for bed. He got out of his jeans and climbed into you bed. You rolled over and snuggled into his chest. He stroked your hair, looking around your room. 

He couldn’t believe that you did this by yourself. It must be so exhausting and then you come do the show which isn’t easy either. Jensen eventually fell asleep.

In the morning he woke up to the smell of coffee. You walked into the room with two cups. 

“Coffee in bed?” he smiled sleepily.

“We’re full service here” you smiled. He sat up and took the cup. You sat down facing him. “So..um…thank you for last night.” 

“Was that okay?” he asked

“Yeah. Jensen, that was just what we needed. Sorry for making you stay over.” You looked down a bit and he placed a hand on your foot.

“You didn’t make me do anything. I wanted to. I couldn’t leave you like that.” 

“And…the sippy cup.” You still didn’t look at him.

“Like I said, if you need it, that’s fine. I actually learned a bit more. It-it was really nice…to take care of someone like that. I never thought-anyway.” He sipped his coffee.

“It was really nice having some help” you said quietly. “But I guess it’s like a one time...two time thing. I mean, I’m not little all the time, but this is weird. It’s weird and it would change our relationship and” you sipped the coffee. You both sat in silence for a moment.

“Is it just making sure you eat, get you ready for bed and lots of cuddles?” Jensen finally spoke. You nodded.

“She might be a bit grumpy sometimes too. Going for walks and stuff like that helps.” You said. Jensen nodded.

“I-I would like to do this again.” He said looking away.

“You would?” you looked up shocked. 

“Yeah. Y/n/n, if this is what you need…I can help when I can.”

“Thanks.” You said still surprised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything you want to see?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader because more comfortable with letting go

You were in your house, on your own. You had slipped into your little place, but you didn’t want to bother Jensen. You were sucking on your pacifier watching Anne with and E, snuggled up to your blanky when your phone rang and Jensen was calling you. You picked it up.

“Hello?” you asked a little shaky, voice sounding childlike.

“Y/n/n” he said slowly “Ar-are you…uh…are you little?”

“Mmmm” you whined. You heard him sigh and chuckle a bit.

“Sweetheart, do you want me to come over?”

You hung up the phone, not wanting him to hear how little your voice was getting and texted him.

 **“You no have to”** you said.

 **“Be there soon”** he responded.

A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. With your blanky in your hand you want to open. Jensen was there and saw you in your comfy clothes, pacifier and blanky. He stepped in and saw your eyes watering a bit. He lifted you in his arms and rubbed a hand on your back. You rested your head on his shoulder and cried a bit, embarrassed that he came over.

“Sweetheart, I’m here. I want to be here.” He whispered. “Why didn’t you tell me?” you shrugged “Can you talk for me? I know you said your voice goes little, I won’t mind”

“I no want bother you” you whispered.

“You wouldn’t have bothered me, honey.”

“I do on my own” Jensen kissed your forehead.

“Let’s get you some water and cuddles, hm?” you nodded pouting.

You looked at Jensen and tapped his lips and then your nose. He smiled and kissed your nose and then rested his forehead against yours. He then decided to kiss your pacifier which caused you to gasp happily, giggle and then nuzzle into his neck hiding.

Jensen placed quick pecks on your temple and walked into the living room seeing your empty sippy cup. He picked it up, went to the kitchen and placed you on the counter, letting.

“Hey” you pouted.

“Just filling up your sippy cup.” He smiled and kissed your forehead.

Once you had water you were back in his arms, you sighed in content. He walked back into the living room and sat on the couch.

“Ah, Anne with an E.” he smiled and you took your pacifier out and looked around to see where to put it.  “Oh. I-I-I have something for you. If that’s okay?” he blushed a little and you pointed to yourself. “Yeah”

“Otay” you blushed.

“It’s in the car, can you stay here?” you nodded and placed your pacifier back in you mouth.

Jensen left and  when he came back you saw him holding something. It was black and he opened his hand and you saw that it was a pacifier clip.

“I-uh-I noticed that you didn’t know where to put it, so I thought…is this too much?” you shook your head and handed him your pacifier. He attached it and then attached it to your shirt. You giggled.

“I love it” you smiled and he sat down, grabbing your sippy cup. You climbed up in his arms and took the sippy cup.

“I’m glad you like it”

You straddled his lap, facing him and placed your sippy cup down. You held his face in your hands and started stroking one of his cheeks. He smirked a bit, wondering what you were thinking. He lightly scratched your stomach. You giggled and moved your hands to his shoulder and rested your forehead against his chest.

“What are you thinking?” he chuckled.

“I little” you whispered.

“Yes you are.” He said rubbing a hand on your back.

“You came to be with me, because you want to?”

“Sweetie, look at me.” He whispered. You looked up. “Yes honey, I’m here because I want to be here. I called, heard that you sounded little-“ he tickled your stomach and you smiled. “And I wanted to come and make sure that you were okay.”

“Why?” you tilted you head to the side a bit. He cracked half a smile and stroked his thumb on your cheek.

“Because sweetheart, I care for you. You are very sweet and very kind. I looked up things about littles; I’m starting to learn more about it. I want to be able to take care of you and be there for you.”

“Because you love me?” your eyes were wide and innocent. Jensen smiled and placed both hands on the side of your face.

“Yeah, honey, because I love you.”

“You-you be my caregiver?”

“I’ll be your caregiver, if that’s what you want.”

You nodded leaning forward and rested your head on his shoulder, nuzzling into his neck. He stroked your hair and placed your pacifier in your mouth and held you close.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything you want to see?


	5. Chapter 5

“CUT!” the director yelled. 

It was a rough scene between your character and Dean. Jensen came over and wrapped his arms around you from behind. You were starting to slip a little, but you wanted to stay big.

“You okay?” he whispered in your ear. You nodded. “You sure? It was a tough scene and they’re going to film Jared. We have two hours.” You wrapped your arms around his arm and nuzzled a bit into Jensen’s arm. “Okay, sweetheart.” He chuckled.

When you got into your trailer you wrapped your arms around his waist. Jensen kissed the top of your head. 

“I sorry” you said quietly.

“You don’t have to be sorry. You haven’t been little in two weeks. So. We’re going to get you all snuggly and all the cuddles and you just let go for a bit.” 

“Snuggle, snuggle snuggle” you giggled. 

You ran to your backpack and got in your pajamas. Jensen reached into your bag and grabbed your pacifier and blanky. You jumped on the couch and curled up, resting your head on the arm of the couch. Jensen crouched down, handed you’re your blanky and brushed your pacifier against your lips. You open your mouth and took it. He clipped it to your shirt.

“There we go” he smiled. You reached up and he lifted you in his arms. “Hey sweet girl” 

You tapped his lips and your nose. He smiled and kissed your nose. You tapped your pacifier and he kissed that too. You blushed and hid in the crook of his neck. 

“I love you” you mumbled. 

“I love you too” he said kissing the side of your head. 

“I have snack?” you looked at him.

“Of course. Let’s see what we have.”

Jensen carried you to the cupboards and opened them. Hmm…good fish, animal crackers.” You gasped and made gabby motions. “Animal crackers win” You rubbed your nose with his and he smiled. “You are very cute” he whispered.

You giggled and rested your head on his shoulder. He sat on the couch with the crackers. You turned around to face him. You drummed on his chest and giggled. You leaned forward and he kissed your pacifier. He stroked your cheek.

“Thank you for letting me take care of you. For being so understanding and helping me learn more about littles.” You took your pacifier out and kissed all over his face. 

“I love you sooooo much” you squealed. You wrapped your arms around his neck. Jensen wrapped his arms around you, cradling your head to his chest.

“I love you so much.” He whispered.

Jensen grabbed and animal cracker and fed it to you. You giggled and he kept feeding you. A few minutes later you let out a yawn and he lifted you in his arms and went to your fridge and saw the sippy cup. He held it up to your lips and you took a few sips.

“M’sleepy” you mumbled.

“Okay, sweetheart.” He placed your pacifier in your mouth and carried you to your bed in the trailer. 

He pulled the bedsheet down and placed you down. You rolled onto your stomach. He grabbed your blanky and handed it to you. Jensen got on the other side and kicked off his shoes.

“Can I get under the covers?” he asked

“Mm” you smiled nodding a bit.

He got under the covers, but sat up. He rubbed circles on your back until you fell asleep. 

When you woke up you were still little. You sat up and pouted at Jensen.

“Aw, what’s the matter, honey?” he asked rubbing a hand on the back of your neck.

“I need snuggles.” You said. Jensen smiled and you climbed onto his lap and he held you tight, rubbing a hand on your back.

“You really do want to just be held.” He said and you nodded, resting his head on your shoulder.

“I sleep long?” you asked.

“Only fifteen minutes”

You two sat in silence for a moment until Dean felt his shirt get wet. He looked down at you saw that you were crying.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked quietly. 

You shrugged and wrapped your hand around his finger, not looking at him. He kissed the top of your head. “Hey. Face me and hold tight.” He whispered. 

You did and he moved the covers. He stood up and you wrapped your legs around his waist. He cradled your head to his shoulder and swayed side to side. You clung to his shirt and sucked on your pacifier to soothe yourself. 

“I’ve got you, sweetheart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking of adding Jared.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jared!

You had half an hour before you had to be big again.

“Hey Jay, I finished early and-” Jared paused when he saw Jensen holding you, pacifier in our mouth. “Oh-what?” Your eyes went wide and Jensen also froze a bit.

“Uh-Jared-hi” Jensen said. Jensen put you down and you hid behind him, holding his hand.

“What-uh-what’s going on?” Jared asked.

“Oh. Um…well.” Jensen looked at you when you tugged his hand. “Can you give us a moment, Jared?” 

“Yeah.”

Jensen lifted you back in his arms and carried you to your room in your trailer and sat you down on the bed. He crouched in front of you.

“What do you want to do, sweetheart?” he asked.

“You think he mind, I little?” you asked.

“I’m not sure. Do you want me to let him know while you get in your big space?” you nodded. He kissed your forehead and walked back to the front of the trailer.

“So…uh…what was with-that?” Jared asked curious.

“”Y/n/n's a little.” Jensen said sheepishly. 

“A what?” Jared was genuinely curious.

“Um…I walked in one day and found her with her pacifier and she told me she’s a little. It’s not a sexual thing. When she gets stressed or there’s a rough scene, she some time regresses to a younger age.” 

“Oh. And you’re helping her?” 

“Yeah. It hasn’t been for long. But She asked me to be her caregiver when she’s little.” 

“What do you do?” 

Jared sat down and Jensen relaxed a little. He was really glad Jared wasn’t freaking out.

“Um, her little just wants to be held. So, it’s a lot of snuggles” Jensen chuckled and Jared smiled a bit. “She didn’t a lot at first because her voice goes small, but I got her talking and she’s really sweet. Her little. She made it clear that they’re two separate people. Anyway. I looked up stuff on littles. I was hesitant at first, but I wanted to help out in some way.” Jensen looked down and blushed.

“Hey, I think that’s great man.” Jared said

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. That’s sweet that you did that. I’m sure she appreciates it.”

“I do” you said stepping out and back in your big space. You walked over to Jensen and looked down.

“So-uh-if I’m being honest, I want to know a bit more.” Jared said.

“Really?” you asked.

“Yeah.”

That night the three of you went out and you explained more about it. Jared nodded a long and asked questions, like Jensen did. 

“Well. I don’t mean to impose or anything, but uh-if you’re ever feeling little and Jensen is filming or not around…if I am, I-uh-“ Jared paused.

“You’d help out? Really?” you asked smiling a bit and looking at Jensen.

“If you want to, Jared that would be great. I’m actually directing next week’s episode.” Jensen said.

“Yeah. If you’re comfortable with that.”

“Before you’re alone with her, you might want to do a trial run.” You said and the boys nodded.

“I’m fine with that” Jared said. “Just let me know when.”

That Sunday you three agreed to do let Jared meet your little. You agreed to be little before Jared came over. You were in your comfy clothes and Jensen clipped your pacifier to your shirt and placed it in your mouth. You giggled and he tickled your stomach and lifted you in his arms. You rested your head on his shoulder.

“Are you a little nervous about today?” you nodded a bit. “Me too, but Jared is really excited to meet you.”

“Yeah?” you looked at him a little hopeful.

“Yeah, sweetheart.” He kissed your forehead and the doorbell rang. 

Jensen carried you to the door and opened it. Jared was there and he smiled a bit. You waved and he waved too.

“Come in” Jensen smiled and Jared walked in. You made grabby motions for Jared. “You want Jared to hold you?” you nodded.

“Come here.” Jared smiled. 

Jensen passed you to Jared. You wrapped your legs around his waist. You held his face in your hands and looked at him curiously. Jensen smiled a bit and Jared did too. You tapped Jared’s lips and then your nose. Jared looked over at Jensen.

“She wants you to kiss her nose” Jensen chuckled.

Jared kissed your nose and you gasped, giggled and nuzzled into his neck. Jared smiled in awe. Jensen nodded. 

“She might not talk a lot today, right sweetheart?” Jensen rubbed a hand on your back. You giggled again.

“That’s okay.” Jared smiled.

Jared carried you to the living room and Jensen went to get everyone a drink. He sat down and you moved so you were facing him. You rubbed your forehead on his chest a few times and then looked up at him. You tapped his lips and your nose again. 

“You want another kiss?” he smiled and you smiled and nodded.

He kissed your nose and Jensen walked back in. He handed Jared a beer and you your sippy cup. You looked down at it, a little embarrassed. Jensen rubbed a hand on the back of your neck. 

“Sweetie, it’s okay.” Jensen said.

“That’s a very pretty sippy cup.” Jared encouraged. 

“See, Jared likes it” Jensen cooed. You reached up and Jensen put his beer down and lifted you up. 

Jensen sat on the chair across from Jared and sipped his beer while Jensen sipped his. You smiled drinking from your sippy cup. You smiled and waved at Jared. Jared waved back.

“You are very cute” Jared smiled.

“What do you say, honey?” Jensen encouraged. 

“I say, thank you!” you said proudly, knowing that Jared would be taking care of you alone sometimes, so you would have to talk.

“Good girl” Jensen cooed.

“Jared want more snuggles?” you asked.

“Yes I would.” Jared said.

You got up and walked over to Jared climbing up on his lap.

“Does Jared want to watch Anne with an E?” Jensen asked.

“Sure.” Jared said.

Jensen got up and turned the TV on; he walked over to you and Jared. He held your face in his hands and kissed your forehead, nose and pacifier. He rested his forehead against yours.

“I love you.” he said. You giggled and reached up stroking his cheek. Jared smiled at you two, seeing his two friends happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything you want to see?


	7. Chapter 7

Jensen was directing this week and you weren’t really feeling that great. You felt like you were going to throw up, your nose was running and you were so tired. You sat down on the couch on set. Jared came over and crouched down.

“Hey, are you feeling okay?” he asked. Jensen came over

“Mmm. Yeah, just feel like I’m going to be sick.” You said

“You do look a little pale.” Jensen said reaching up and placing a hand on your forehead. “You feel a bit warm.” He said lowering his hand.

“I’ll be fine.” You said. 

“We’re just setting up to do the scene again.” Jensen left to go back to work and you laid down on the couch. 

“Can I get you anything?” Jared asked stroking your hair.

“Can I have some water” you asked quietly.

“Yeah.” He stood up.

“Jared?” he crouched back down. “I’ll be fine, but I’m starting to feel a bit little. I do that when I’m not feeling well.” 

“Okay. Look, this is the last scene today. So, after we’ll take care of you, okay?” 

“Thank you.”

“I’ll get you some water.” 

You were thankful that you only had to do the scene two more times. By the time you were done, you felt nauseous, had a headache and you were feeling little. Jared had let Jensen know about that and the boys came over to you. You whimpered a bit and Jared lifted you in his arms. You pouted and rested your head on his shoulder. 

“Little” you whimpered.

“Yeah, sweetheart, we know. We can go home now; you okay with Jared get you all snuggly while I get changed?” Jensen whispered and you nodded. “Okay, then I’ll get you ready to go while Jared gets changed and we’ll take care of you”

Jensen kissed your forehead and Jared got you to your trailer. He carried you to the bedroom and placed you down on the bed. He placed a hand on your forehead and you whimpered.

“Your head hurt?” he asked quietly and you nodded tearing up a bit. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Jared said kissing your cheek and grabbing your sweatpants and comfy shirt.

“You help?” you asked 

“Yeah, I’ll help.” He smiled a bit.

Jared got you out of your pants and top. You reached over and grabbed a ratty sports bra and he went to grab your socks while you got changed into that. He came over and got you in your shirt and socks. Just then Jensen walked in.

“Alright, sweetheart, let’s get you all packed up.” Jensen said.

“I’ll be right back” Jared said, kissing your nose. You smiled a bit. 

Jared left and Jensen came over and you wrapped your arms around his waist. He stroked your hair a bit and then crouched down. 

“Where’s your pacifier, honey?” you reached over and took your backpack and took it out, handing it to him. “Thank you.” 

Jensen clipped it to your shirt and placed it in your mouth. He grabbed your knitted sweater and helped you in it. He put your running shoes on and Jared walked back in. Jensen lifted you in his arms, holding you close. Jared got your bag and Jensen’s.

Once you were back in your house. Jensen carried you to your room. Jared followed. He sat on your bed; Jensen sat you down and got your shoes, socks and sweater. He handed you your blanky. You rested your head on Jared’s leg. Jensen covered you up with your fuzzy blanket.

“Stomach still upset?” he asked and you nodded. “Okay, how about I grab you some water, ginger ale and crackers.”

“Thank you” you whimpered.

“Jay, turn the lights down a bit” Jared whispered. Jensen did. “You’re head still hurt, sweetie?”

“Yeah” 

“Do you want to take something for it?” 

“No” you said quietly. 

Jared gently ran his fingers through your hair. He felt you relax a little. Jensen came back with your sippy cup, ginger ale, crackers and a thermometer. Jensen opened the ginger ale and put a straw in. He sat on the bed and took your pacifier out of your mouth and placed the thermometer in. Your eyes fluttered closed. You opened them when the thermometer beeped.

“100.3” Jensen said. “Have some water, sweet girl.” 

You sat up a bit and let your pacifier fall and took your sippy cup from Jensen. He cupped your cupped your cheek and you leaned into it. 

“Are you feeling up to some soup?” Jared asked and you nodded. “Alright. Why don’t you snuggle with Jensen and I’ll make you some.”

“Tomato?” a whimpered and he smiled.

“I can do that.”

Jared left to make soup. He was glad that you were comfortable with him, however he knew that being sick and little you would want Jensen. Since he was your first caregiver.

“Sweetheart, do you want to watch a more Anne?”

“I just want to cuddle.” You whimpered.

“Okay, honey.” 

You curled into Jensen and he held you close. Jared came back with some ginger gravol. He handed it to Jensen, kissed the top of your head and went back to making your soup. 

“Here, Jared got you some ginger gravol. Sit up.” Jensen whispered 

You took the gravol and had your water. You handed him your sippy cup. Jensen placed your pacifier back in your mouth. You climbed on his lap, grabbed your blanky and rested your head on his chest. 

“We watch Anne with soup?” you whispered, closing your eyes.

“Yeah, we can do that.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit short

Your fever got worse over the night. Both boys stayed to take shifts in case you needed them. Jared put your hair up, to cool you down. You were whimpering in your sleep. Jensen got a lukewarm cloth and started wiping your face.

“Shhh, sweetheart.” He whispered. You sucked on your pacifier to sooth yourself. 

“Bathroom” you whimpered.

“Alright.” 

Jensen pulled your covers back and saw that you had soaked through the sheets with your sweat. He slowly helped you up. You stumbled a bit and he lifted you in his arms. Jared was up, it was six in the morning. 

“Hey.” He whispered.

“Can you change her sheets?” Jensen whispered and Jared nodded.

While he helped you in the bathroom, Jared grabbed the sheets and saw the soaked sheets. He sighed. They hated seeing you like this and had they known we weren’t feeling so well on set they wouldn’t have stayed that long.

Jensen carried you back to your room and Jared had new pajamas. 

“Honey, we’re going to help you get changed, is that okay?” Jared asked.

“Mmm” you nodded, starting to cry.

“Okay.” Jensen whispered. 

Jared helped you out of your shirt, unclipping your pacifier and Jensen helped you in a new one, clipping the pacifier back on. Jared grabbed a wet towel and placed it on the back of your neck. Jensen held up the thermometer and you took your pacifier out and Jensen placed it in your mouth. You started crying again.

“We’re so sorry that you’re feeling sick” Jared said, stroking your hair. The thermometer beeped and Jensen looked at it.

“It’s back down to 100.7” he said giving you a small smile.

You started to cry harder and Jensen grabbed the medicine for you. The boys looked at each other, they hated that you were sick and little. They just wanted you to feel better. You took your medicine and Jared held up some ginger ale to wash it down. 

“Can I hold you?” Jensen asked and you nodded reaching your arms up.

Jared took the cloth off your neck. Jensen lifted you in his arms, wiping your tears and placing your pacifier back in your mouth.

“Popsicle?” you whimpered.

“Aww, you don’t have any, but I bet Jared could quickly run out.” You looked at him and he smiled.

“I will be right back.” 

Jared left. Jensen rubbed a hand on your back and kissed your forehead a few times.

“I sorry” you cried. Jensen grabbed your blanky and you snuggled into it. He walked you out to the living room, it was cooler.

“Sweet girl, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Jensen said. “Lucky you got sick on the weekend.” You nodded. “Are you feeling up to watching more Anne?” you nodded.

You two were watching Anne when Jared walked in. He sat down and smiled at you.

“Popsicle?” you asked.

“Yeah. Let’s see. Jared pulled out a stuffed animal that was a very cute lamb. You gasped. “Oh, this isn’t it.” You made grabby motions. Jared handed it to you and winked at Jensen. He reached into the bag and grabbed a very cute penguin.

“Oh!” you said again, eyes lighting up.

“No popsicle yet.” Jensen smirked. Jared pulled out a very cute stuffed moose.

“Noooo” he said handing the moose to you.

“EEEEE” you giggled. This was the first time the boys have you seen you smiled since you got sick. 

“There’s that smile we love” Jared cooed.

“What do you say, sweetheart?” Jensen asked rubbing a hand on your back.

“Thank you, Jared!” you smiled hugging your stuffies. 

“You’re welcome darling. Now. Pink?” he asked about the popsicle.

“Yes please” 

In the afternoon, your fever broke. They put you down for your nap with your new stuffies. You happily snuggled up to them


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of the most adorable thing ever!!

You weren’t needed on set today, so you took the time to clean up, go over your lines. Jensen texted you that he and Jared would be stopping by. You started to slip into your little space and you grabbed your pacifier, got in your comfy clothes when your phone rang.

“JARED” you squealed. You heard the boys laugh a little.

“We’ll be there shortly, honey.” Jared said.

‘Otay!” 

The boys left themselves into your house, they knew better than to interrupt whatever you were doing. You were watching Julie’s Green Room. The Julie Andrews show and coloring. You were snuggled up to Herman, the stuffed penguin. When they asked why, you said “He just looks like a Herman” They stood in the door for a moment.

“Do you want the blue one, Elliot?” that’s what you named your stuff moose. “You do! Okay, what color? There soooo many blue. What’s that, lamby, you want Shamerock green. Here!” you reached over and handed placed it on the coloring book.

“Do you think I could help lamby out?” Jensen finally spoke and you gasped happily turning to see both boys. 

You jumped you and ran over; Jensen lifted you in his arms and kissed your pacifier. Jared kissed your forehead. You dropped your pacifier and held Jensne’s face in your hands and gave him little pecks. He smiled and nibbled at your neck.

“What about Jared?” he asked you made grabby motions and Jared took you from Jensen.

“Hi” he smiled. You giggled and gave him little pecks and then nuzzled into his neck. He placed your pacifier back in your mouth. 

“We love you.” Jensen said rubbing a hand on your back.

You reached over and Jensen took you back. He held you close and Jared placed a hand on the back of your neck and rubbed your back with his other hand. 

“You help Elliot?” you asked Jared.

“Yeah. I’d love to know what color blues there are.”

Jensen put you down and the two men got on the floor with you. You paused the show and held the box of crayons.

“How’s Herman?” Jensen cooed, picking up Lamby and making him kissed all over your face. You giggled. Jared tapped your pacifier, which signalled you to take it out if you were going to talk a lot.

“Herman’s good, but he needs kisses” you pouted.

“Oh, we can fix that.” Jared smiled he kissed your stuffed penguin and then made Elliot kiss all over Herman’s face. Jensen did the same thing.

“All better” you smiled.

“You want some juice?” Jensen asked and you smiled nodding. “Okay, sweetheart. I’ll get us some while you and Jared figure out what blue Elliot wants.” Jensen got up and Jared looked at you smiling and he was holding moose. 

“So, what color blues are there?” he asked,

“Soooo many. Robin Egg blue, aquamarine, turquoise, sky blue, outer space.”

“Outer space?” 

“Uh huh!” you smiled. “Blue green, Pacific blue, Cerulean, cornflower.”

“Cornflower?” Jessen laughed coming in with three juice boxes and some goldfish. “Just put some bagel bits in the oven.” He smiled sitting back down and handing Jared a juice box.

“Oooh” you smiled 

“Is there a navy blue?” Jared asked.

“Yeah!” you handed him the navy blue while Jensen opened the juice box for you.

“Here, sweetie.” Jensen smiled.

You took the juice box and started drinking. Jared pressed play on the TV and the three of you watched the show, had your juice and colored. Once the bagel bites were eaten, you yawned a bit and Jensen and Jared smiled at each other.

“I think it’s time for a little nap.”

“Noooo” you smiled looking and seeing that it’s one.

“Uh huh. We worked all morning we could nap too.

“You know, Lamby, Elliot and Herman seem pretty tired too.” Jared tried to convince you. 

“Oh” you gasped. 

You took your stuffies and laid them down, covering them up with your blanky. You sucked on your pacifier and rubbed your eyes a bit.

“Do you want to show them how to sleep?” Jensen asked trying to coax you into sleeping. You laid down and looked at your stuffies.

“I bet it works better with your eyes closed.” Jared smiled. 

You were stroking Elliot’s back and Jensen was doing the same with you. Jared covered you up. You closed your eyes and before you knew it you were out like a light.

“You wanna take the couch?” Jensen whispered.

“What about you?” Jared asked.

“I’ll stay here.” He smiled looking down at you.

He honestly had no idea what he was doing. But over the past few months and now that Jared has helped out, he had gotten used to taking care of you and your little. He missed it sometimes when you were big. 

Jared got on the couch and handed Jensen a pillow. Jensen laid down beside you and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close. Jared set an alarm for twenty minutes.


	10. Chapter 10

You were having a great day on set. Things were going well. You got a text from your friend asking if they could call. You told them in a few minutes. You said goodbye to the boys and went to your trailer. You asked them to call. 

You could tell by the way they said hi something was wrong. You listened as they told you a friend of yours has passed away. You were numbed and stunned. You really weren’t expecting them to tell you that.

You didn’t really know what to do. You wanted to laugh, not because it was funny, it really wasn’t, but that’s all you could think of doing at that moment. You and your friend talked about a few other thins and by the end of the conversation you started to crying, but did your best to not let your friend know. 

You hung up the phone and broke down for a minute and then and looked in the mirror. Your eyes were puffy and there was no way you could get this past the boys or anyone on set that matter. Worst you didn’t really know what to do, but you wanted to be little. 

You couldn’t do that though. You had to finish the rest of the shoot. You got out of your trailer and saw a PA. She smiled and then came over.

“Hey, are you okay? What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Oh, I just got some news. I’m fine.” 

You walked to the make-up trailer. The make-up artist asked if you were okay and you let her know. You went to set and Jensen went to the make-up trailer. 

“Have you spoken to Y/n?” she asked him.

“No. Is she alright?” he said.

She let him know and he walked to set. You were sitting on the couch, surprisingly holding it together. 

“Hey” he said not in his usual way.

“Hi” you forced a smile a bit.

“Listen, uh-I talked to Amy.” 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” You said standing up and brushing him off a bit.

“Y/n/n.” he said and reaching a hand out to touch you. You stepped back a bit.

“Sorry. I’m just trying to hold it together. You touch me and I will either break down, slip into my little space or both.”

“Okay” he said stepping back. 

Sorry” you said again, a little harsher.

“You don’t have to be sorry.” He said softly.

You did the scene many times and then it was time to move on. It was a long day, your chest felt heavy. You walked back to the trailer and got changed. There was a knock on your door you opened your door and saw Jensen. 

“Hey.” He said.

“Hi” you said looking down.

“Listen, you don’t have to be little, we don’t even have to talk. I just don’t want you to be alone tonight.” 

“Okay. Thanks, Jensen.”

The whole car ride was silent. Jensen kept giving you glances, you just looked down. When you got into your house you looked at Jensen.

“I-uh-I’m going to get in my pajamas.” 

“Can I make you something to eat?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You sure? I can make a grilled cheese.”

“No” you said.

He nodded and you went to your room. You got out of your clothes and into your t-shirt and pajama shorts. You honestly didn’t know what to do, you felt numb. You hesitated and then grabbed your blanky, you held onto it for a moment. You let go of it. 

You wanted to be little, but you needed Jensen first. You walked into the kitchen and saw Jensen making coffee. You walked over and looked down.

“I would like to be little. She will be sad and extra clingy. Probably won’t talk much and cry a lot.”

“Of course. Y/n/n, I’m here for you.”

“I know I need to be little, but I’m having a bit of a hard time.”

“What do you need?”

“If you could just hold me, rub a hand on my back and forehead kisses. No talking. Just hold me.” Jensen’s eyes went softer, is that was at all possible.

“Come here, sweetheart.” He whispered

Jensen lifted you in his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist; you rested your head on his shoulder. He rubbed a hand on your back. You shut your eyes tight and started to shake a bit and Jensen held you tighter. He kissed your forehead and broke down. 

Jensen didn’t say anything. He just held you and periodically kissed your forehead. You didn’t really know what was going on. You just cried. You barely noticed when he walked into your room. He kissed your forehead and grabbed your blanky and rubbed it on your hand. You grabbed it and held it tight to you. He went back to rubbing your back.

You started whimpering, you patted your lips and then made grabby motions. You wanted your pacifier; Jensen reached over and grabbed your pacifier. He sat down and you moved your hand. Jensen clipped it to your shirt. You opened your mouth and he placed it in. You had your fist around your blanky. You tapped it on his lips and then your nose. Jensen kissed your nose, but you didn't smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just lost someone yesterday and it is very hard on me.  
> I'm also a little and I don't have a Caregiver, so I wrote this.


	11. Everyone grieves

Jensen carried you to the couch and held you. He looked at his phone and kissed your forehead a few times. He kissed you nose.

“Sweetheart, I let Jared know what happened and he wants to come over and be with you and comfort you. Is that okay. He said if you’re not ready that it’s okay.” he whispered.

“We cuddle” you whimpered.

“Yeah honey, he’ll cuddle you.” you nodded and then nuzzled into Jensen. 

A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and Jensen carried you to the door. He opened the door and Jared was there. 

“Hey darling” he said and Jensen passed you to him. 

Jared held you tight. He went to the living room and sat down. Jensen walked back in with Elliot, lamby and Herman. He handed them to you and you cuddled them and Jared. Jared placed kisses on your forehead. Jensen sat beside Jared and rubbed a hand on your leg.

“Sweetheart, are you ready to try eating something?” you shook your head. “No. Not even for a grilled cheese?” you pouted a bit and hid behind your stuffies. Jared stroked your hair.

“Is that a yes, honey?” you nodded.

“Okay, I’ll go make you one.” You waved Jared forward and whispered something in his ear. Jared nodded and looked at Jensen seriously.

“She would like bacon in it.” Jensen pressed his lips together trying not to laugh and he nodded and left. 

You placed your stuffies down on the couch and tucked them in with your blanky. You then turned so you were straddling Jared, facing him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and started crying again. Jared stood up, holding you, rubbing a hand on your back. He stood by the window held you close.

He kissed your forehead. Your cries turned into sniffles and Jensen walked in with the grilled cheese and a sippy cup. Jared sat on the couch with you and you turned around. Jensen stroked your cheek and held up the sippy cup. He took your pacifier out and you took the cup and took a sip.

“Oooooh” you whispered a little happily.

“Yeah, you like that sweetheart?” you nodded and took another sip. “Ginger ale” he said to Jared.

Jared placed kisses little kiss on the back of your head. Jensen took the sippy cup and you grabbed the sandwich which he cut diagonally. You took a little bite.

“Good girl” Jensen praised.

You ate half and Jensen handed you your sippy cup back. Jared rubbed a hand on your back and Jensen held up the other half for you and you shook your head, curling into Jared.   
“Okay honey, you did a good job.” Jared said.

You showed your hands to Jensen. They had crumbs on them from the grilled cheese. You had wet wipes in the living room. Jensen grabbed one and wiped your hands. He gave you a little peck on your lips and placed your pacifier in your mouth. You made grabby motions towards your stuffies. 

Jensen handed them to you with your blanky. Jared lifted you up bridal style and carried you to your room. He placed you down on your bed and wrapped his arms around you, your back against his chest. Jensen got on the bed, facing you and stroked your hair. A little while later your stomach grumbled. 

“What can I get you?” Jensen asked.

“Nothing” you whispered.

“How about I make some rice or soup?” 

“Broccoli cheddar?” 

“Tell you what, sweetheart, the restaurant down the street has the best soup. Jared and I are hungry too. I’ll order something for us and have it delivered okay?” you nodded and Jensen left. You rolled over so your face was in Jared’s chest.

“I sorry I little” you whimpered.

“You don’t have to be sorry.” He whispered. He kissed your forehead a few times and stroked your temple with his thumb.

When Jensen came back, Jared carried you to the table and you three ate your food. You slowly started to get back into your big place. You went to the bathroom and then came out, big.

“Hey.” You said looking down.

“Hey, y/n/n.” Jensen soothed.

“I just really needed to be little”

“That’s okay.” Jared said.

“Thank you, for letting me do that.”

“Of course.” Jensen said pulling you close.

“Everyone grieves differently.” Jared stroked your hair.


	12. Chapter 12

Ever since you went little after the news of your friend, you haven’t been little since. Jared and Jensen noticed. They sat at lunch and talked.

“She hasn’t been little for a while” Jensen said.

“Yeah, I noticed. She went little right after the news.”

“It might be hard for her to get little again. I never thought I would get this attached, but I miss taking care of her little.”

“Me too.” You walked over and sat down.

“Hey” you said. 

You still weren’t the same since the passing. You weren’t as chipper, you were happy to see the boys, but you usually attacked them with hugs. Now you just give little waves, you’ve started distancing yourself a bit. You also noticed that you hadn’t been little in a while. You felt embarrassed that you slipped into that space that day. 

It’s almost like you’ve had to force her down. You did have a moment where you wanted to be little, but you didn’t want to bother Jensen or Jared. You just…you had a hard time feeling things now. 

“Hey sweetheart” Jensen said. He called you whether or not you were little, but he hoped that maybe it would help you find her again. 

“How was filming?” Jared asked.

“It was good.” You said taking a bite. 

The three of you ate in silence for a moment. Then Jensen spoke up.

“So…What are your plans tonight?” he asked you. you shrugged.

“Probably just stay at home. You?”

“Nothing really” Jared said, giving Jensen a look.

“Yeah. Nothing.”

“Oh.” You continued to eat. 

Once the three of you were finished Jensen threw your food away. 

“You want a piggyback ride to set?” Jared asked. You sort of smiled a bit.

“No, I’m okay, thanks though.” Jared nodded.

You walked ahead.   
Later that night when it was time to go home, you wanted to go home. Jensen stopped by your trailer.

“Just wanted to say goodnight.” He said.

“I-I’m having a hard time getting little. I’m just, embarrassed that I went little the day of the news. I guess I’m just betting myself up.” You didn’t look at him. 

“You don’t need to be embarrassed about that.”

“It’s been a month.” you said softly. 

“I know. I know you want time alone, can I come and check in on you in two hours?” you nodded, still not looking at him. 

You walked over and hugged him. He cradled your head and kissed your temple and held you against him for a moment. Then you left to go home. 

When you got home you changed into your pajamas and lay down on your bed. You grabbed Elliot and stroked his fur a bit. You placed your blanky under your chin and you closed your eyes. Maybe this would help you get into your little space. You ended up falling asleep and you woke up when someone was there stroking your hair.

“Hey sweetheart” Jensen whispered and you rolled over and latched onto him.

He held you close, not sure what headspace you were in. He rubbed circles on your back, you started to cry a bit. He lifted you in in his arms like you liked. He reached over and grabbed your pacifier, clipping it to your shirt. 

“You don’t have to use this. I’m just putting it here in case.” He said. 

You looked down at the pacifier. You had your blanky on his shoulder and Elliot in your hands. You picked the pacifier and placed it in your mouth, sucking on it a bit. He smiled down at you a bit, cradling your head.

“There’s my sweet girl” he whispered. You hugged him tight. “I missed you” 

You looked at him, tapped his lips and then your nose. He kissed your nose, forehead and pacifier.


	13. A day with Jared

Jensen was directing again, the season was almost over. You and Jared weren’t needed for the day. You were excited, you had to return some library books, go grocery shopping, prepare some meals for the day. 

You got up early, made your coffee, had your breakfast. You dropped the books off, went to the grocery store and was back by ten o’clock. You were unpacking the groceries and watching TV, which you were happy you had it in the kitchen. You hit Netflix and turned on One Day at a Time. 

You paused the show and went upstairs getting changed into your pajama shorts and t-shirt. You grabbed your stuffies, blankies and pacifier bringing them downstairs. You set Elliot, Lamby and Herman down, covering them up with the blanky. You took the pacifier off of the clip so it wouldn’t get in the wat and put it in your mouth. You weren’t feeling little; you just wanted to feel comfortable. 

You chopped up the vegetables that you were going to use to roast later on. Your phone rang and you looked down and saw that Jared was facetiming you. You hit answer.

“Hi. Oh!” he said. You smiled shaking your head and took the pacifier out.

“Hi. No, I’m just getting food ready this week. I’m not little. Just wanted to feel comfortable.” You smiled and yawned a bit.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah. I just got up early to get things done. That’s all. How are you?”

“I’m good. Just wanted to check in. Thought maybe I’d stop by if you were home.”

“Sure! I can put you to work.” He laughed a bit. 

A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. You put your pacifier in your mouth and went to meet him. You opened the door and was embraced into his giant bear hug. You giggled and squeezed tight. 

“What can I do?” he smiled.

“Come on” you said, taking his hand. 

“Jensen checked in?”

“Oh yes!” 

You went and grabbed the broccoli and Jared washed his hands. You handed him the broccoli.

“If you just break it in little chunks.” You showed him your list of things you were to prepare. 

“Okay.” you rubbed your eyes with the back of your hands starting to get tired. “Why don’t you take a nap?”

“Oh, no it’th okay.” you smiled. He smiled at the way you spoke with your pacifier and the hint of your little coming out. 

“You sure? I can do it.” You just giggled and started to put the cut up vegetables in the containers. 

Jared watched as you started to suck on your pacifier more and your eyes drooping a bit. He smiled to himself and waited until you finished one container. You blinked a few times and then looked up, noticing Jared looking at you, eyes soft. 

“You know the vegetables will still be here after a nap” he said. You nodded, rubbing your eyes again. “You want to sleep on the couch so you can still see me?”

“You?”

“I have vegetables to put in chunks. And then when you wake up you can put them all away.” You giggled and nodded reaching your arms up. Jared walked over and lifted you up in his arms. Nestled into his neck and he kissed your nose. “Hey little one.” You smiled. “Let’s get you down for a nap” 

“Mmm” you pointed to your stuffies and blanky.

“I’ll get them for you in a moment.” 

Jared carried you to the couch and laid you down. He grabbed the blanket and covered you up. He walked over and grabbed your stuffes and blanky bringing them over. He crouched down and you snuggled them. He kissed your pacifier.

“You are just so cute.”

“Tho Jenthen?” you mumbled. He chuckled.

“Sure, I’ll take a picture.”

Jared took a picture of you and sent it to Jensen. He sat down and stroked your hair, you instantly fell asleep. He smiled when Jensen responded. Jared got up and set an alarm for an hour. He finished the vegetables and went to make the mashed potatoes. He chopped them up and added cauliflower, you’re little secret and he boiled them together. 

Once they were boiled he took the beaters and mashed them. He set them aside and let them cool before putting them away. He looked over at you, you were still asleep. You had ten more minutes, he grabbed your pacifier clip. He sat on the ground by your head and checked his emails. When he saw that it was almost thirty seconds before the alarm went off, he turned it off and turned to sit on his knees and ran his fingers through your hair.

“Hey, Y/n/n. It’s been an hour time to get up, darling.” Your eyes slowly fluttered opened. You yawned, dropping your pacifier, smacking your lips a bit and smiled, making grabby motions for Jared. “Hi little one.” He cooed. He picked up your pacifier and you sat up.

“Jared, I have to tinkle” you said.

“Okay, let’s go.”

He placed your pacifier in his mouth and held your hand to your bathroom. While you went to the bathroom he put your pacifier clip back on. When you flushed the toilet, he clipped the pacifier to your shirt and placed it in your mouth. He helped you wash your hands and then lifted you up. 

“I love you” he said. You giggled, blushing and nuzzled into his neck.

“I love you” you said. “Kitchen?”

“Aw, you know what? I finished it all ready.” You looked at him shocked and he smiled and booped your nose. “Yeah. I think all you need to do right now and get so many cuddles or we could color and wait for Jensen to come home.” 

“Colower” you said and he nodded. 

Jared sat you down and grabbed your coloring books and colored pencils. You smiled and both of you colored and watched some cooking shows. You looked over at him and waved. He smiled and held your wrist lightly kissing your palm. You giggled. You climbed onto his lap and he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight.

"Need some cuddles?" he asked and you nodded. 

An hour later you both heard keys in the door and you gasped getting up and running to the door, Jared quickly followed. Jensen walked in and saw you bouncing waiting for him. He smiled wide when he saw you.

“Hey sweetheart.” Jensen cooed. You reached your arms up and he lifted you in his arms. He kissed your nose, forehead, pacifier and your nose again. You giggled and hid your face in the crook of his neck. “Did you have fun with Jared?”

“Yeah!” you smiled wide at Jared.

“Where you a good girl?” he rubbed a hand on your back.

“I tink tho” you said looking wide eyed at Jared.

“You were a very good girl. We were coloring and watching cooking shows.” Jared said

“I mith you thoooo much” you said squeezing tightly. 

“I missed you too, honey.” Jensen said, kissing your forehead.


	14. Chapter 14

It was Jared’s turn to be away. You loved that both men were your caregivers, you loved that they wanted to be with you and take care of you. However you were feeling little and you called Jensen.

“Hey sweetheart.” He said.

“I’m feeling little” you whispered even though no one was around.

“Oh, Sweetheart, I’m sorry but I can’t be there right now.” 

“Oh. Okay” you said. Jensen hated how crushed you sounded. 

“I’m so sorry. I really do want to be there.”

“It’s okay. Bye” you said hanging up. 

Jensen pulled out his phone and called Jared, he knew he caught an earlier flight and worst come to worse he wouldn’t pick up. Thankfully, he did.

“Hey Jay” Jared said.

“Listen, Y/n/n is getting in her little headspace when she called me, but I can’t be there.”

“I can be there in twenty.” Jared said.

Jensen tried to call you back, but you weren’t picking up. You had regressed and were in your little space sitting on your couch. You hadn’t moved since you hung up with him. You felt alone and scared. There was no one else that knew besides Jared and he was gone. 

Jensen tried texting you, but you put your phone down. You curled up on the couch and covered yourself with a blanket wanting your pacifier, stuffies and blanky, but not wanting to move. You just cried and cried. 

You hadn’t notice the door open or the footsteps coming into the living room. You gasped when you felt someone touch your arm and someone stocking your hair. 

“Sweetie, it’s Jared” he whispered.

You pulled the blanket down just past your eyes to see if it was real. Jared looked sad, but that was only because your face was stained with tears and your eyes were all puffy and red. Your lip quivered and a new wave of tears came through. He lifted you up in his arms and held you close. 

“I’m here now, I’m here now. Jensen is so sorry that I couldn’t be here with you. But I’m back now. Why don’t we get you all comfy?” he whispered against your hair and kissed your temple.

You just cried and cried, he rubbed a hand on your lower back as he walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge grabbing your sippy cup. You clung tighter to him as he carried you to your room. 

He set you cup down and laid you down on your bed. You squirmed a bit wanting to be held. Jared grabbed your pajama shorts and sweatshirt. He got you out of your jeans and into the shorts. He pulled you up and took your shirt and bra off. You gripped his shirt, forehead against his chest.

“I’m going to hold you in a moment darling, I just need to get your sweatshirt on, okay.” he soothed rubbing a hand on your bare back.

“Mmmm” you whined clutching more to him. 

“I just need to get your sweatshirt on.” He said reaching his hand up and scratching your head.

You let go and he quickly got you in your shirt and lifted you into his arms. You wrapped your arms around him and legs. He grabbed your blanky and sat on your bed. He grabbed your fuzzy blanket and covered you up. Jared sat back against your bed and cradled you in one arm. He grabbed your sippy cup and held it up to your lips. You started to drink, resting your head against his chest. 

“There we go.” He cooed. 

You drank some water while he held you closer. He put your cup down and grabbed your pacifier placing it in your mouth and rubbing the back of his fingers against your cheek. You looked straight ahead, sucking on your pacifier and Jared looked down at you. 

You stayed quiet, you didn’t want to talk. There was a lot going on in your mind, mainly you knew that Jensen was busy and yes, he and Jared both agreed to be your caregiver, but there were going to be days when he couldn’t be there. 

You just hadn’t been alone and little for so long. You usually had someone there to help. The steady beat of Jared’s heart and the gentle strokes of his fingers, made your eyes flutter closed and then back open. Your eyes shut again and then opened.

“You want to nap?” he whispered, his hand that was stroking your cheek went to stroke your temple with his thumb.

You moved so you were straddling him facing him. You sucked on your pacifier, looking down, resting your hands on his shoulders. His hands went to your shoulders and started to massage them. A minute later he felt you relax; you slowly lowered your body onto his. 

Your head rested on his shoulder, your body was on beginning to get heavy on his and he knew you were almost sleep. His one hand went to your neck and lightly scratched up and down. He wrapped his arm around your waist. 

When you woke up you were on your bed on your side. Jared was on his side, arms wrapped around your protectively. You moved a bit to look up at him, but still wrapped in his arms.

“Hey darling.” He said moving his arm to stroke your cheek.

You rolled on your back and tugged his arm. Jared moved so he was hovering over you, his arms on either side of your head. He leaned down and kissed your forehead.

“Are you going to talk today?” he asked and you shook your head. “Okay” he smiled. You wrapped your legs around his waist and reached up, stroking his cheek. “Do you have to go to the bathroom?” you nodded.

Jared carried you to the bathroom and when you were done he helped you wash your hands. He lifted you back in his arms and held you close.


	15. Sam!

You walked to your trailer and ran into Sam. She was headed to set to film a few scenes with the boys.

“Y/n/n!” she beamed opening her arms for a hug.

“Sam!” you smiled hugging her.

“Are you headed home?”

“No. Just have some time. I could go and come back, but I don’t mind staying.”

“Come by set, I might need more girl power.”

“I will.”

You got in your trailer and grabbed your laptop opening it up to catch up on some shows. You later headed to set, and sat watching a scene where Mary and the boys. You couldn’t help but laugh, it was hilarious and the boys were pulling their usual antics. 

They cut while they adjusted the lighting. Jensen walked over to you, smiling and hugged you. 

“You’re here!”

“Sam needs girl power.” You smiled. Sam walked over to you, joining in the hug.

“Girl power” she smiled.

“Of course. These boys a trouble.” You smirked pulling away.

“Hey” Jensen pouted and then winked. 

Next thing you knew you were wrapped in a big bear hug. You giggled and melted in Jared’s arms. They were called back to set and you watched. Finally it was your turn again to be on set, you laughed and tried to get through the scene.

It was late afternoon now and you were done for the day. You sat in your trailer and picked up your pacifier and you brought Herman along and your blanky. You rubbed it against your face, it was cool and soft. 

You nuzzled it and popped your pacifier in your mouth. You turned on a kids show and curled up, slipping in your little space. Suddenly there was a little knock on the door. You sat up, not really sure what to do. You peaked out the window and saw it was Sam. 

She saw you through the window and waved a bit, looking a little stunned, but smiled softly. She had noticed Jensen and Jared doing certain things for you, tying shoes, opening bottles. Sometimes they would hold you in their arms and stroke your hair. 

She thought it was a little odd, but whatever. Now, seeing you like this, things were starting to make a bit more sense. You waved back a bit and you walked to the door and opened it. 

“Hi” she said. You looked at her a little worried. You started to come out of your head space a bit.

“Hi” you said quietly. 

“Who’s this?” she asked about Herman.

“Herman” you looked down.

“He’s very cute.” She said and you took your pacifier out.

“Sorry” you said, headspace going back to your big. “Come in” Sam stepped in and you walked to the kitchen area.

“Coffee of tea?” you asked.

“I’ll have tea, if you don’t mind.”

You put your stuff down and went to boil the water, blushing a bit. You took a deep breath and Sam went to look at the tea you had. 

“I-uh-I-so. Are you done filming?” you asked.

“I am. Thought I’d stop by and see you.”

“That’s very nice.” You smiled a bit.

“So” she smiled, selecting some tea.

“I’m sorry, I’m so embarrassed” you said quickly, moving to grab some tea for you.

“About what? How I found you?” you nodded. “That’s okay. I-uh-I would like to talk about it, but if you don’t want to say, that’s okay.”

“Yo-you can ” you said taking her tea and yours and putting it in the cup. 

“I’ve noticed the boys helping you a bit more, taking care of you.”

“Yeah. I uh-I regress. I’m a little and sometimes I need to let go between scenes. One day Jensen found me and he’s helped. We asked Jared to help out sometimes, when Jensen had to direct.”

“And you were doing it on your own before?” she asked pouring the water and smiling. 

“Yeah. I’m really glad Jensen helped. He was hesitant at first, but that made sense. I thought he was going to stop talking to me or something. Thought I was weird. We’re two separate people, my little and I”

“He loves you, he would always be there to help. Jared too…you know…I don’t want to step on any toes, but if they’re ever busy…maybe your little would like some girl time?” 

“Really?” you looked at her a little shocked. 

“Yeah.” She shrugged smiling.

“I’d like that.” You smiled. She pulled you into a side hug. “Jared came over first to test it out.”

“I can do that, just tell me when.”


	16. Not your day

You were on hiatus and you got to be little for a little bit longer. You woke up feeling little, Jensen and Jared were coming over soon. You put your pacifier in your mouth and that’s when you saw on your new bedsheets. Blood. Crap, you had gotten your period early.

“UUUUGHGG” you groaned. 

First you took care of your underwear and pants. You rinsed them out with water and then getting in your comfy clothes and walked to the kitchen. You grabbed the last of the apple juice and poured it in the sippy cup, but it went everywhere. 

“Whaaa” you whined.

“Sweetheart?” you heard Jensen say.

“RRRRRRRRRRRR” you growled when Jensen walked in. He saw you standing there crying.

“What happened” he asked, coming over and seeing the mess. “Aww. Here. Let’s clean that up.” 

Jared walked in while Jensen was cleaning up the juice and saw you pouting. 

“What’s wrong, sweet girl?” he asked.

“She spilled her juice.” Jensen replied. You picked up the empty juice carton and threw it. “Hey. No” he warned, looking up at you.

“Come on, why don’t I make you some eggs?” Jared suggested.

“Pop tarth” you whined.

“What if I make you dip dip eggs? Some tater tots and bacon?”

“Oooh” your eyes lit up a bit.

“Okay. But that will take about half an hour.”

“Can we split a pop tart?”Jensen cooed and you nodded.

Throughout the day you weren’t having much luck like the morning. You hadn’t been sleeping well and you were getting tired and the boys noticed. 

“Hey, how about a little nap before lunch.” Jared suggested, rubbing a hand on your back.

“Mmmm” you whined. You were watching a movie.

“Yes and then I’ll make you a grilled cheese with some soup.” Jensen said.

“NO!” you yelled, pacifier falling out of your mouth, crossing your arms. The boys were a bit shocked; they’ve never seen you like this before.

“Y/n/n” Jared said cautiously. 

“NOOOOO” you yelled getting up and going to grab some coloring books. You dumped the crayons on the floor, sitting down and starting to color.

“Y/n, that is not nice. Apologize to Jared.” Jensen spoke in a firm, but calm voice.

You just ignored both of them, rubbing your eyes with your fist before going back to coloring. The boys exchanged looks. Jensen crouched down beside you and tapped your cheek with his finger. You turned your head to look at him.

“What” you mumbled.

“Little one, what has gotten into you?” he whispered.

“Nothing” you grumbled.

“Sweetheart, you’re going to apologize to Jared.” 

“Mmmmmmmm” you whined and growled a little.

“You know what? You’re going to go sit in the corner.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” you yelled.

Jensen stood up and you looked at him, standing up, crossing your arms and stamping your feet. Jared grabbed a chair and placed it in the corner. You mumbled and walked over to the chair sitting down. Jared had your pacifier and placed it against your lips. You took it and starred at the wall. 

“Ten minutes” Jensen said. 

He set a time and left the room. Jared stayed with you. You started sniffling and then crying. Today was just not going your way. Jensen walked into your bedroom to grab your blanky when he saw it. Your bedsheet still had blood on it.

He sighed shaking his head a bit. It was not your day. Jensen walked back and to the living room and waved Jared over. Jared stepped out

“She got her period and it looks like she wasn’t ready for it because it’s on her bedsheets. My guess is she woke up little, found that and then with the juice and not sleeping well.” Jared nodded

“Not her day.” He said

When the timer went off, Jensen came over with your blanky and lifted you in his arms. He wiped your tears and kissed your nose. You hid in the crock of his neck. He stroked your cheek with his thumb. Jared came over and rubbed a hand on your back.

“You are having a rough day, huh?” Jared asked and you pouted nodding.

“Saw your bedsheets.” Jensen whispered and you gasped looking at him. You completely forgot about that. “It’s okay. I’m going to wash them for, how does that sound?” you nodded. “Now, can you apologize to Jared?” you turned and looked at him.

“I thorry” you whimpered, lip quivering a bit and then bursting into tears again.

“Come here, sweetie” Jared whispered and you went to him. He rubbed a hand on your back. “Thank you for apologizing.”

“Forgib me?” you asked looking at him. 

“Of course I forgive you, cutie.” He rubbed his one with yours and you giggled a bit. 

“Oh, there we go.” Jensen cooed. You yawned a bit. “How about you snuggle with Jared, you fall asleep and then when your bedsheets are all changed we can color and finish the movie.” Jensen scratched your stomach and you smiled. He kissed your pacifier and you squealed.

“Alright, let’s not get her all riled up” Jared joked.

Jensen stripped your bed, while Jared stayed in the room holding you. Your soft snores made them chuckle a bit. Once your bed was remade Jared placed you down, while Jensen covered you up. Jensen stroked your hair while Jared rubbed your back. 

You sucked on your pacifier and made little noises while sleeping. 

“She’s so cute” Jensen whispered.

“She is” Jared agreed

**Author's Note:**

> comment, kudos, suggestions


End file.
